A grateful heart

This summer has been different than I imagined it. It has been more. More heat, more time away from my husband, more mess, more beauty, more growth, more. It has been busier and longer and hotter. It has been lonelier but also filled to overflowing with new and old friends and family. It is only July 21 and in Kansas, we have a long way to go before fall and cooler days. It is high summer and I am overwhelmed by the blessings that have surrounded me, the special signs, wonders, and miracles that assure me through the rough patches that my Heavenly Father is in the midst of what seems like chaos. 

Signs? Yes! Like sweet loving women who open their lives to me, who cuddle my children, hug me before I realize how much I need it. Who share meals and bath times, drinks and stories, crafts and mess, watermelon and bubbles and chocolate animal crackers. Women who love me, especially when I am an emotional landmine. Women who are amazing and wonderful and who fill my days with unexpected joy and smiles. Whose generosity and compassion is astounding. Women who encourage me and inspire me. Who teach me and challenge me. Women who are my friends!

Wonders? Yes! My sweet children who make me stronger. Who insist on consistency and love. Who remind me through their parroted responses that the hear me and they are listening. Beautiful blonde children with their dark, melted-chocolate eyes, who look up at me and say, " Mama, I just love you!" Or whisper, "SPPPSSSSSS" in my ear, which means, "Mama, I love you." Who pat my legs who cuddle me in unexpected moments. Oh, how fast they are growing. It is hard to balance, the love with the rules and structure they need. But the pay off? Breathtaking. They snuggle into my shoulder while we read, they laugh wildly as they run through the house or giggle quietly behind doors in a quick game of hide-and-seek.  My children's laughter is a daily reminder of God's presence in my life. Their existence is a daily miracle reminding me not only of my husband but of God's love.

Miracles? Yes! Like a summer storm and walking through the thunder holding my husband's hand. Watching things grow, even just the weeds! Creating things. Making time to read, to listen, to sit still. Even if it is only for a few minutes. Finding beauty and choosing joy! Choosing to give and to keep my heart open, especially when I want to hide under the covers! Finding that the more I love, the more I give, the more there is to love and to give. 

This may not be the summer I envisioned. There may not be days, stretching into weeks, of leisurely activities. It may be steamy, dripping, hot. My husband is gone more than he is here. But, I am in the midst of something special. This life I have is full. But it is full of good things. Of gifts, and wonder, and love. I am humbled by the abundance. And so I pray that my heart would be soft and that I would nurture a habit of gratitude in my daily life and in my children. For I am thankful for these precious minutes, hours, and days of lush, beautiful summer.

from my dad's camera on the 4th of July

It was hot. We were all exhausted. The carnival was packed. But. The rides were a first! Bea didn't want to ride the carousel after all. And the fireworks? Breathtaking. It was an amazing, suprising, wonderful evening.

summer light

I have been wondering where to begin this post. You see, on June 29, 2011 my grandmother Emily Catherine Stewart Mowry passed away. She had been in poor health for over ten years, but the end was abrupt, and I think that part of me really believed she would pull through again. Every day that passes I miss her. We were close, closer than many grandmother-granddaughter relationships. She held me before my mother did when I was born, something she always reminded me of. Sometimes she called me her "fourth daughter." But the bond we shared was different than any of the relationships she had with her daughters, partly because she wasn't responsible for any of the tough parenting, just the wonder, joy, and play. I miss her voice. I miss knowing she will be there when I visit her house. When I fall asleep, I  wake up with the knowledge that she isn't here anymore. But through sadness, I have awareness of all she taught me. Of lessons learned through following her examples. I appreciate certain things because she shared them with me. Books, colors, writing and editing, air-conditioning, beautiful, frivolous clothing, flowers and simple, fresh recipes.  Eating raspberries for breakfast with a silver spoon. Treasuring each glimmering minute of life, whether or not things are as planned. My grandmother may not answer the phone "Hello Pet!" anymore, but she is still here and she always will be.

These pictures are a mish-mash collected over the last few weeks. Each has a story beyond the picture a memory of what I was doing or what was happening when the camera clicked.  When I looked back it was a gift to see all the beauty and joy that surrounds me even through sorrow.

 When he sleeps, I can still see traces of my baby boy.

This year we did sparklers, a tank, and a race car. Two days after the 4th.

Two days after we got back from Texas we went to a beautiful birthday at the Zoo Park. Russ captured Bea's exuberance and delight at being home.

We gave Victoria this dress for her second birthday (before they moved to Kentucky and then Texas) When we visited, Nicole and Victoria gave it to Bea to wear. It makes the distance seem smaller. 

My great-grandparents on Grandmother's side lived in our town after retirement. When my dad was in grad school, we lived in their house. Now I live literally a block directly north of that house. It is sweet to see my children play in the same places I played with my brother and that my mama played with her cousins.

There is a picture of my dad as a little one under an Elephant Ear plant. Likewise, my mom has one of me and I have one of Evie. My Oma took these pictures and they are a new treasure and addition to the collection.

With much encouragement, Evie held his own sparkler!

Root beer floats to end a lovely summer meal. A favorite all around!

Sometimes, the impact of my children's life and beauty overwhelms my heart.
Will they ever know how precious they are?

About 6:30 the light comes through the windows in our dining room and turns everything to gold and made the fruit look like a Dutch still life

This evening was more reminiscent of and Edward Hopper. There is a sense of peace but also quiet loneliness.

Sitting on the porch swing with icy beverages in hand has become a favorite after supper activity. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have musical accompaniment.

One of my favorite pictures of my Grandmother is of her standing in a patch of sunflowers, wearing a sundress and holding one of her babies (I think my youngest aunt). This reminds me a little of that picture.

The last of my cosmos, glorified.

So big these days.

We may have corn yet. Russ has put a tremendous amount of energy and sweat into our little trial garden.

I am so blessed to know both my grandmothers. This is my Oma.
 The things she teaches me grow more precious each day.

my family.

never know when it might rain.

Nicole's closet and a lot of sangria

While the museum and waterpark (not pictured) were super fun, my favorite part of visiting Nicole was the pitcher of sangria we shared while doing her wardrobe consultation! Like Kailen, Nicole is very petite. We focused on clothing she loved but didn't know how to incorporate into her wearing rotation.  It should be mentioned that Nicole is not afraid to speak her mind and if she didn't like something I put together she let me know! Which is awesome, because it doesn't matter what I think if she isn't going to wear it! And let's face it, sometimes I wear some crazy stuff. However, all the outfits pictured met her approval and she even wore a few of them while I was there! Success!

This pretty pink top posed a dilemma because it was sheer and a-line. The first outfit we made with the shirt added a tonal lace camisole and rolled khaki shorts. To dress it up a little more we went with gorgeous tan wedge-heeled sandals and a long strand of pearls! Very Garnet Hill!

A more casual look with the same top. A scarf in her hair, a wooden cuff bracelet and white Toms!

This top is one of Nicoles favorite's but she was having trouble making it casual enough to wear to the park and for playdates. Enter rolled jean shorts, a bright floral posie, and sweet black ballet flats to finish the look.

A new favorite skirt needed a pop of color and a belt to accentuate Nicole's tiny  waist.

Nicole loved this skirt but didn't know what color to wear with it. Pink, yellow, and orange seemed too much and white was too boring. While the pale blue isn't an exact match, the tonal combination is extremely flattering, and the belt adds rustic touch which makes it more casual and easier to wear day-to-day.

This skirt has hung in Nicole's closet almost as long as I have known her. It is super cute and one of Victoria's favorites. The problem was again making it casual enough to wear day-to-day. By mixing patterns and textures, this skirt has a very o- trend look and is perfect for the playground or a cup of coffee with friends! I love the gladiator sandals with it. Kinda a Sundance Catalog meets Anthropologie look.

This dress proves that before tossing into the "donate" pile you should always try it on again! Both Nicole and I (but mainly me!) were sure this was a loser! But to our suprise, when she tried it on, it became one of our favorites and an extremely versatile piece!  With gladiators, a perky scarf, and wooden bracelet, Nicole can wear it to swim lessons or the zoo!

With wedge heels, a chic strand of pearls and artfully draped shawl, Nicole can take the same dress to dinner or the theater! Hint, hint Chris, take your sexy wife out!

And again with different acessories, this time two necklaces and sassy sandals another great day to evening look.

I love the pale tonal look on Nicole (actually on most everyone!) This cotton tank is layered over a lacy camisole and worn with rolled khaki cargo pants and flip flops. Sexy and very wearable. Definitely a ringer for a Garnet Hill outfit!

Nicole loves this purple top but never wore it. The skirt and scarf provide lots of color and a little bit of that popular "ethnic" trend. Again the flip flops and wooden cuff are easy finishing accessories.

Another super wearable and easy combination using a tonal color palette.

This look says, "take me out for a night on the town." I love the lace and embroidery combined with the gladiator sandals and that smashing wooden cuff bracelet!

Trading the skirt for a pair of rolled up silk cargo capris, Nicole has another option for the purple shirt and looks like she stepped out of a photo shoot for The Sundance Catalog.

I love these details! She has such great taste it was easy to come up with fun "new" outfits!

I think this was one of Nicole's favorites! Look at that smile, aren't I lucky to have such pretty friends! Again, this skirt looks so great with a complementary pattern on top! And the brown velvet belt accentuates her little waist and adds bohemian flair! Awesome!


I am so lucky to have friends like Kailen and Nicole who let me into their closet and let me play dress-up! I love helping my friends find new ideas and outfits without spending a dime!