A grateful heart

This summer has been different than I imagined it. It has been more. More heat, more time away from my husband, more mess, more beauty, more growth, more. It has been busier and longer and hotter. It has been lonelier but also filled to overflowing with new and old friends and family. It is only July 21 and in Kansas, we have a long way to go before fall and cooler days. It is high summer and I am overwhelmed by the blessings that have surrounded me, the special signs, wonders, and miracles that assure me through the rough patches that my Heavenly Father is in the midst of what seems like chaos. 

Signs? Yes! Like sweet loving women who open their lives to me, who cuddle my children, hug me before I realize how much I need it. Who share meals and bath times, drinks and stories, crafts and mess, watermelon and bubbles and chocolate animal crackers. Women who love me, especially when I am an emotional landmine. Women who are amazing and wonderful and who fill my days with unexpected joy and smiles. Whose generosity and compassion is astounding. Women who encourage me and inspire me. Who teach me and challenge me. Women who are my friends!

Wonders? Yes! My sweet children who make me stronger. Who insist on consistency and love. Who remind me through their parroted responses that the hear me and they are listening. Beautiful blonde children with their dark, melted-chocolate eyes, who look up at me and say, " Mama, I just love you!" Or whisper, "SPPPSSSSSS" in my ear, which means, "Mama, I love you." Who pat my legs who cuddle me in unexpected moments. Oh, how fast they are growing. It is hard to balance, the love with the rules and structure they need. But the pay off? Breathtaking. They snuggle into my shoulder while we read, they laugh wildly as they run through the house or giggle quietly behind doors in a quick game of hide-and-seek.  My children's laughter is a daily reminder of God's presence in my life. Their existence is a daily miracle reminding me not only of my husband but of God's love.

Miracles? Yes! Like a summer storm and walking through the thunder holding my husband's hand. Watching things grow, even just the weeds! Creating things. Making time to read, to listen, to sit still. Even if it is only for a few minutes. Finding beauty and choosing joy! Choosing to give and to keep my heart open, especially when I want to hide under the covers! Finding that the more I love, the more I give, the more there is to love and to give. 

This may not be the summer I envisioned. There may not be days, stretching into weeks, of leisurely activities. It may be steamy, dripping, hot. My husband is gone more than he is here. But, I am in the midst of something special. This life I have is full. But it is full of good things. Of gifts, and wonder, and love. I am humbled by the abundance. And so I pray that my heart would be soft and that I would nurture a habit of gratitude in my daily life and in my children. For I am thankful for these precious minutes, hours, and days of lush, beautiful summer.